Monday, July 19, 2010

Worst Phone Conversationalist Of The Year Is Fleeing Down Under!

America's sweetheart, Mel Gibson recently sold his New York mansion for millions less than its market value earlier this month; and he has been reported to have put his Malibu home on the market earlier this week. Upon the advice of his ex-wife, Robyn, he is leaving the U.S. and moving back to his boyhood home of Sydney, Australia.

What!?! Braveheart is leaving the U.S. of A.!?! I don’t think I want to live in a country without ol’ Sugartits!

So, he got drunk, said a few racist things, demanded a blow job and punched a baby… (allegedly)… Who the hell hasn’t? I do worse than that on my Monday afternoon benders at the Ladies’ Auxiliary BINGO Luncheon!

Say what you will, but that big-tittied Russian is one crafty bitch! How in the heck did we ever win The Cold War against these people? She forced Mad Max… Mad Freakin’ Max… out of the country with nothing more than a cell phone! She saved those messages for months before leaking them to the press! Hell, I can’t even figure out how to change my outgoing message! But that woman… that woman is shifty!

Mel, Mel, Mel… How I will miss your antics! To think, you will spend your days punching wallabies and verbally abusing koalas, and no one will be there to get it on tape. What a waste of good material! I just hope you have cell phone reception there in the Outback!

Keep in touch.

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