Jaleel White, Steve Urkel from TV's "Family Matters," is being investigated by the LAPD for beating his baby mama.
Alleged victim, Bridget Hardy, claims that Urkel hit her in the breast implant while driving in LA last month, then hit her and pushed her into the toilet once they got home.
I just hope, afterwards, he said, "Did I do thaaaat?"
Listen, Bridget! You had sex with Urkel! Someone needs to beat you in the head!
Former child stars are always sooo classy! Hey, Jaleel! You want to end up like Gary Coleman... but from an even shittier sitcom? Now, you think about THAT, mister!
Why can't more child stars use Emmanel Lewis as a role model?
Urkel is of course denying the whole thing. But then again, he also thinks "Family Matters" WASN'T the most retarded show ever on television. So, you decide...
BTW... Someone emailed me this story and a picture of Lady Gaga playing John Lennon's white grand piano in Yoko's apartment. I only had time to post one. I chose this. Wise choice, I must say... wise choice.