Sunday, July 18, 2010

Fist Pumping All The Way To The Unemployment Line!!!

Cast members of MTV's "Jersey Shore" were supposed to begin filming scenes for the 3rd season today. However, when crew members showed up at their doors, JWow, Vinny, Ronnie, Sleepy, Happy and Doc all refused to shoot scenes until they received more lucrative contracts.

If you remember, MTV once considered re-casting the entire show for its 3rd season. So, is this really a wise move on the part of everyone's favorite little guidos and guidettes?

Snooki, Sitch... Valtrex and tanning packages are not cheap!!! And you're not exactly employable outside of MTV reality television! What are you going to do if MTV decides to ax the series altogether? "Celebrity Rehab" has already been cast for this season!

Is Snooki going to become a manicurist? Is the Sitch going to become a bouncer?

You know, this is just the beginning of some very ho-hum careers in amateur porn. Yep, get ready to see The Situation bareback some wide-eyed twink and Snooki break her Bumpit over some Italian Stallion's headboard!

Sure, their "shocking and exclusive" sex videos will headline Radar Online for about a week; but then, they'll dissipate among the reality stars of yesteryear.

I'll miss you, Dagos. I'll think of you every time I drink a bottle of Everclear and fist bump to a generically familar 90s song. But I shan't mourn too long; I'm sure I'll see you at some local county fair really soon.

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