Thursday, July 29, 2010

Is Lady Gaga Involved In A Case of International Espionage!?!

Private First Class, Bradley Manning is currently awaiting court martial for being responsible for one of the biggest leaks in US military history.

Bradley Manning, a 22-year-old US intelligence analyst stationed on a base near Baghdad, has been accused of leaking more than 850,000 pages of secret military documents to a whistleblower website, Wikileaks. These secret military documents were then made public to any and all US enemies over the Internet.

Manning claims he collected the secret information by pretending to listen to Lady Gaga CDs. He pretended to lip sync and hum along while he transferred the thousands of documents onto blank discs that were labeled "Lady Gaga Music."

When asked for comment, military officials stated that they, indeed, were not able to read his "pa-pa-pa-pa-poker face."

You know, this incident only further supports my stance on The "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy. If that had been a gay sitting at his computer claiming to be listening and singing along to Lady Gaga, you can damn well be sure that HE WAS LISTENING AND SINGING ALONG TO LADY GAGA!!! He probably would have also danced around a little, and our national secrets would be safe right now, citizens! Serves you right, America! Serves you fucking right!

The 2010 "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Award

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