LINDSAY LOHAN GOT OUT OF JAIL!!! AND THERE'S NOT ONE FREAKIN' PICTURE!!!

Everyone's favorite crack whore, Lindsay Lohan, left Century Regional Detention Center early Monday morning, and no one has a damn picture!?! All we have is a picture of this asshole!?! Are you freakin' kidding me!?!

I've searched everywhere!!! I actually even went on to real news sites in search of photos!!! And I believe you know how I feel about sites that only report carefully constructed, factual news postings. Bleck! I prefer gossip and speculation and... mmmmm... photoshopped images. That's what Daddy likes!

Lindsay Lohan was released from Lynwood on Monday morning at 12:01 am. I was told that she didn't leave the facility until 1:35 am, because she was having her hair done. She made arrangements late last week due to the certainty of press upon her release.

So, where are the damn pictures!?!

Could it be that L.A. paparazzi are simply sick of stalking our little Lilo? Do you think there were photographers who heard their alarm clocks and said, "Aaah, screw it! I'm not getting out of bed for that bitch AGAIN!"?

Lindsay went directly to the UCLA Medical Center to begin her 90-day sentence of rehab instead of the originally ordered, Morningside Facility. Judge Marsha Revel felt that the Morningside Facility was a little too lax and visitor friendly for Lilo's needs. Marsha, Marsha, Marsha!!! We may not see so much as a single image of cokey for 90 whole days!!! What the hell am I going to write about for 90 freakin' days!?!

Well, I'm severely disappointed. Ok, I'm pissed. And a little hurt. Et tu, Perez Hiton? Not one photo? So, instead, here's a picture of a one-legged stripper. It's not Lohan, but it's close... in that it's a little pathetic and a whole lot trashy!

Is The Biebs The New Lindsay Lohan???

Over the course of just a few days, this photo of Justin Bieber has been featured on more gossip blogs than Britney Spears' twat!

The headlines have been reading: "Is Justin Smoking Pot?, Has The Biebs Turned To Weed?, Has Bieber Gone To Pot?"

Uuummm... First of all, amateurs, that is not a bowl. That is a crack pipe. So, no, the Biebs has not taken up horticulture as a hobby.

And I can not tell a lie. My heart swelled with glee at first sight of this picture. I would like nothing more than to report to you that Justin Bieber is now a big crack whore. But it is simply not so, gloryhole readers. :( That's the first emoticon I've ever used in my entire life, btw. I think their use should be limited to 12-year-old girls and the mentally disabled; but I felt the disappointment of the Biebs not becoming a crack whore called for a frowny face.

Anyway...

Justin Bieber was photographed while he was filming an episode of CSI. He plays a high school drop-out turned drug addict. Then... I don't know... he probably gets raped or kills a hooker or something... Isn't that what happens on every episode of CSI? I just hope his hair doesn't get pushed back away from his forehead. Now, that really would be a crime!

His appearance on CSI also explains this leaked photo of the Biebs in invisible handcuffs from last week.



Invisible handcuffs!?! Who in the fuck arrested him!?! Wonder Woman?