Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Look At Who's Having Chicken Tetrazzini Tonight!?! (And possibly some lesbian rape...)

It really happened! I'm still in shock! It really happened! Lilo is in the pokey!... only for 23 days according to Cougar Judge Marsha... but still, she went! Look! There's pictures and video footage and everything! If it's on TMZ, you know it's true!

I really thought she'd run for Switzerland, or Shapiro would pull out some "If the glove don't fit, then you must aquit!" kind of magic. I really thought there was something behind to his late-night resignation last night.

But no, Lindsay just sneered at the judge and took her lumps like a big girl. She didn't even cry!!! (I admit I was a little disappointed.)

Judge Marsha made the press turn off their cameras, so Michael Lohan had no reason to act like a total freak while Lindsay was being carted away.

I would just like to point out all of my favorite parts of this morning though...

Here's Lindsay entering the courtroom... sort of uneventful... UNTIL someone throws confetti! Ahahahahaha! Fuckin' Confetti!!!

It's her party, and she'll cry if she wants to! BUT SHE DIDN'T!!!

Here is a picture of Lilo as Judge Marsha is giving final instructions before Lindsay is taken into custody. Just look at how sassy little Lilo got! Mmmmm, Hmmmm. Where's your "Fuck U" nail now, Sassy?

Now, let's have a look at the headshots... I mean, mugshots. Lindsay has gotten good at this whole being a celebrity criminal thing over the years. She's gone from looking like a complete crackwhore to her sassy-sorority-girl-on-the-town look. She knows this photo is going to be everywhere for the next few years, and she came prepared. I bet she even hired a make-up artist.

Let's take a look at how she's changed over the years.

JULY 2007


JULY 2010

Yep! That one's definitely my favorite. The sassy smirk just sets it off.

And here is that little cougar, Judge Marsha Revel, giving her final instructions. Look! Not even one tear!!! What kind of bullshit is that!!!

Then, buzz-kill Marsha made the press turn off all cameras... but I still got hold of a few photos...

Oh, what a day! I need a nap now.

I hear Lindsay is having chicken tetrazzini, a strip-search and possibly some lesbian rape for dinner this evening.

I'll be having a bowl of cereal and watching the newest "My Life on the D-List."

Ahhh, good evening for all.

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