Saturday, July 17, 2010

3 Days Until Hell Freezes Over!!!

3 days, readers! 3 days until Lindsay Lohan gets locked up in the pokey! Oooh, the anticipation!!!

Lindsay Lohan is to begin serving a 90-day jail sentence on July 20 for violating the terms of her probation on drunk driving charges by failing to attend several court-ordered alcohol education classes.

She has hired celebrity lawyer, Robert Shapiro, as her new legal council. Remember him? He was part of the dream team that defended O.J. Simpson.

Shapiro was reported on Friday as saying that Lindsay will report to jail as ordered by Judge Marsha Revel. What!?! This guy can get O.J. off for killing his wife but can't even stall the incarceration of our little Lilo!?! Are you freakin' kidding me?

I have a sneaky suspicion these two have something up their litigious sleeves! But I don't know...

Shapiro's son, Brent, died in 2005 due to a combination of drinking alcohol and taking the drug, Ecstasy. Since then, Shapiro has been dedicated himself to helping others overcome their own addiction problems.

"Ms. Lohan is suffering from a disease that I am all too familiar with... I have agreed to represent Ms. Lohan on the condition she comply with the terms of probation, including a requirement of jail imposed by Judge Marsha Revel," Shapiro said in a statement on Friday.

Shapiro could easily become the greatest influence of Lilo's life! (Sorry, Sam.) His family started the Brent Shapiro Foundation as well as the Pickford Lofts Sober Living Facility in Los Angeles. Lindsay checked into Pickford Lofts earlier this week where she is still living and attending treatment.

On one hand, I want to see the little crackwhore pull her shit together. Seriously, I have waited nearly 10 years for that sequel to "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen." C'mon Hollywood, the script practically writes itself! I could easily compile a working script simply from my pages and pages of "Confessions" fanfiction. And on the other, I love the drama of an over-priviledged but tortured Hollywood starlet. If Lindsay goes sober, what the hell would I watch on E! News?

Anyway, thank you, Lilo. You've given me a reason to face yet another Monday!

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