Wednesday, July 21, 2010

It's Day 2 for our brave, little soldier!

Did anyone else spend the entire evening craving chicken tetrazzini? Anyway...

Sources say that our little Lilo is handling her first few hours in the pokey extremely well. They say she's been "polite, compliant and responsive." She hasn't even cried!

Officials even say that if her good behavior continues she'll be out by the end of the month. Lynwood is extremely over-crowded, so it's most likely she'll only end up serving 13 to 14 days of her 90 day sentence.

Ooooh, but that report came only hours after her incarceration. Keep in mind that Lynwood is a smoke-free facility. How polite and compliant is she going to be after her first nicotine fit?

I have a plan...

I've gotten hold of Lindsay's address at Lynwood. We'll just send her some Nicorette gum or even one of those electronic, vapor cigarettes that are out now. C'mon readers, it's time to help out America's favorite crackwhore! (Sorry, Robert Downey Jr.)

Lindsay Lohan #2409752
Century Regional Detention Facility
11705 S. Alameda Street
Lynwood, CA 90262

Don't worry, Lilo. We'll get you through this! Don't let the man hold you down!

And besides, I need her out as soon as possible. I mean, what else am I supposed to write about for the next 13 days? It can't all be put on Mel's shoulders! He can only think of so many stupid things to say in a single day! Though, I'm sure he'll try his damndest.

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