Tuesday, July 27, 2010

Just When I Thought Today Was Going To Be Boring!


What the hell are you doing just sitting at home!?! You can watch that episode of "Golden Girls" any ol' time! I'll even tell you how it ends... Sophia calls Blanche a slut, and Dorothy calls Rose a moron. Then, there's cheesecake! Now, with that out the way... It's time to act!!! It's time to take to the streets and demonstrate about something that really matters!

There is a "Free Lindsay" rally happening right now on 7th Avenue in New York City! Right now!!! Gas up the SUV!!! Or SVU!... I always get the two confused.

Guess they had to squeeze one in, you know, since she's going to be out in 3 to 4 days.

And get this! It's being orchestrated by her tanning salon! Her tanning salon! Yes, James Oliver of The Beach Bum Tanning Salon is protesting the incarceration of our darling, little Lilo. He's very concerned that she will lose her base while behind bars.

OMG! Please, please, please, let there be a press conference! If there's anyone that can eloquently articulate matters of great injustice, it's lispy, orange faggots and slutty sorority girls who smell like frying bacon. Melanoma makes one nothing if not smart!

Seriously, one televised interview with this guy, and I'll have enough material for an entire week's worth of posts!

Hurry! The first 25 people carrying a "Free Lindsay" sign gets a free butterfly tanning sticker!!!

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