Friday, July 23, 2010

Jennifer Anniston Finally Found Someone Who Is Willing To Marry Her!!!

After being tipped-off by a very concerned father, Police arrested a 24-year-old, Joseph Peyton, while stalking around Jennifer Anniston's Hollywood Hills home last week.

The man traveled from Pennsylvania to California in attempts to kidnap and marry Jennifer Anniston. He was found in his car with sharp objects, duct tape, a love note to Anniston and a list of baby names. His car had "I love you, Jennifer Anniston" keyed into the trunk and side of it. Stealth, Joseph... very stealth!

Joseph has been institutionalized for similar behavior in the past and recently stopped taking his medication.

According to his blog, he believes that he is related to Oprah, Jay-Z, J-Lo, Bill Gates, Courtney Cox and Donald Trump. Donald Trump!?! He wants to be related to Donald Trump!?! He's a fuckin' nut!

Jennifer Anniston got a restraining order that prevents Peyton from coming within 100 yards of her, her home, her place of business and her managers.

What!?! Jenn, Jenn, Jenn... You finally found one that is willing to marry you, and you get a restraining order!?! He even picked out baby names!!! You're no spring chicken anymore, lady! You've got to seize these opportunities before your cow runs out of milk. (I don't know. I've never really understood that expression either.) This upcoming generation has no idea who Rachel Green even is!

After all, he can't be any worse than John Mayer!!!

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