Friday, July 16, 2010

Mel Gibson Punches Babies!!!

It's been reported by... oh, I don't fucking know.... I read it somewhere online, and that's good enough for me... It's been reported by "reliable sources" that Oksana Blah,blah,blah has photos of daughter, Lucia, with a noticeable bruise on her chin due to one of Mel's tantrums. She claims a verbal and physical altercation took place as she was holding the baby. She plans to use the photo in court to refute Mel's rights to a joint custody.

I have so much to say about this that I'm shaking like a Parkinson's victim... Sorry, MJ Fox...

First, punching babies is fucking awesome! Oh, oh, oh, just listen to you Judgey Judy!!! Go to Walmart on a Saturday afternoon! If you walk out of there and you don't want to punch at least one baby, perhaps, this is not the blog for you.

Second, this is simply a result of Oksana being nothing more than a big-tittied, frigid bitch! Mel just wanted a blowjob! He paid for the collagen in those lips; he should get to use them!

Third, who in the hell uses their baby as a defense shield? What!?! Oksana tells Braveheart that yes, yes, she does indeed like Barbra Streisand's new album, and THEN, decides to pick up the baby? C'mon, Oksana! He played Mad Max, for Christ's sake; he can totally punch you right through that baby!

Fourth, has anyone else noticed that famous directors don't always make the best babysitters? First, Roman Polanski... Now, Mel Gibson...

Fifth, how did the daughter of such a racist bastard get such a Spic name? Lucia? Really? Why didn't you just name her Consuela or Juanita or Chimichanga?

Sixth, Why don't these two have a reality show? This is so much more entertaining than any one of those stupid Kardashian sisters!... even the fat one!

Ok, ok... I've provided my snarky, slightly amusing commentary, but now, let's seriously take a moment to review the consequences of this situation. A 9-month-old baby has been injured. That's never ok. I just want to take this opportunity to pass on a personal, encouraging message to Baby Gibson: "Hey... Chin up, Lucia!"

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