Is Lady Gaga Involved In A Case of International Espionage!?!

Private First Class, Bradley Manning is currently awaiting court martial for being responsible for one of the biggest leaks in US military history.

Bradley Manning, a 22-year-old US intelligence analyst stationed on a base near Baghdad, has been accused of leaking more than 850,000 pages of secret military documents to a whistleblower website, Wikileaks. These secret military documents were then made public to any and all US enemies over the Internet.

Manning claims he collected the secret information by pretending to listen to Lady Gaga CDs. He pretended to lip sync and hum along while he transferred the thousands of documents onto blank discs that were labeled "Lady Gaga Music."

When asked for comment, military officials stated that they, indeed, were not able to read his "pa-pa-pa-pa-poker face."

You know, this incident only further supports my stance on The "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy. If that had been a gay sitting at his computer claiming to be listening and singing along to Lady Gaga, you can damn well be sure that HE WAS LISTENING AND SINGING ALONG TO LADY GAGA!!! He probably would have also danced around a little, and our national secrets would be safe right now, citizens! Serves you right, America! Serves you fucking right!

The 2010 "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Award

What The Hell Is That Smell!?! (Ok, I was torn between this headline and "Hey Gaga! Who Farted?")

Lady Gaga announced today that she is developing her own fragrance. It is expected to be on shelves by Christmas and will be back by a massive marketing campaign, including TV ads.

I bet it's going to smell weird.

Gaga Quote!

“Of all the drunk men in my life, Dad, you’re my favorite.”

–Lady Gaga's shout-out to her dad during her Madison Square Garden concert.

The Monster Squad storms 30 Rock! (And no, much to your disappointment this isn't a Fred Savage post.)

Who knew one could become the decade’s biggest pop icon by making an outfit out of Christmas lights, tin foil and a few stuffed animals?… Oh yeah, and a consistent outpouring of the catchiest pop songs we’ve heard in the last 20 years. Lady Gaga, that’s who!

Lady Gaga put on a free mini-concert at Rockefeller Center yesterday. Despite the pouring rain, she drew the largest crowd to ever attend a taping of The Today Show, an estimated 18,000 people.

That’s 2 records the little monster-wrangler has broken in a single week! Earlier in the week, she broke the record for the most Facebook fans, now, the largest crowd to ever be at The Today Show studio.

That does it! The next time I have a garage sale, I’m going to put up signs that say, “Free Lady Gaga Concert.” Sure, those weirdos in latex and horns are going to be pissed when they find out it’s all a sham; but hopefully, they’ll buy a few chachkis before they storm off.