It's another day, so here's your obligatory Lindsay Lohan post!

Lindsay Lohan is already auctioning off her 1st post-incarceration interview to the press; and she says she won’t even consider doing it for less than $1 million.

That little crackwhore is crafty… crafty, indeed! First, she convinces the court to allow prescription drugs while on probation. Prescription drugs that include: Zoloft, Ambien, Adderall, Trazodone and Dilaudid, an extremely powerful painkiller that is said to be more powerful than morphine. If any of you remember a little film called “Drugstore Cowboy,” that’s the drug that the junkies were trying to heist from various pharmacies throughout the movie. It’s sort of well known among pill heads that when one mixes an opioid such as Dilaudid with Adderall, well, the expression, “tripping balls,” doesn’t even cover it. Sneaky… Sneaky.

Now, as she’s quickly approaching bankruptcy, she gets herself incarcerated for… Let’s face it! Paris Hilton went away for less than 90 minutes. Lindsay is going away for 3 days max!... And she’s going to profit $1 million as well as get a shit-ton of free press for her upcoming Linda Lovelace movie.

For $1 million, I’d let you lock me up in a cell with Charles Manson and Mike Tyson for the full 90 days! Hell! I’d even pick up the soap for one of them for $1 million!

Say what you want about our little Lilo; but that glassy-eyed whore is fucking smart!

12 Days until Cracky goes to jail!

And the countdown has begun!

Everyone's favorite little crackwhore was sentenced to 90 days! And I'm sure we're going to see a whole bunch of crazy before that long-awaited July 20th arrives.

Lilo has already sent out several tweets comparing herself to Iranian women who are stoned to death. She also keeps quoting the Bill of Rights. Yeah, Lilo, I'm sure that's exactly what the founding fathers in mind. Your over-privileged ass getting sent to the pokey for using your nose as a drug mule!

Lilo's lawyer is no longer representing her. Great! Another black person out of work!

Her enabling, orange mother finally decided to show up 2 days later crying about how unfair it all is!

Her douchebag father appeared on every talk show that would have him. Judge Marsha didn't even want to hear from you; what makes you think that Larry King wants to listen to you run your fucking mouth?

Kim Kardashian is sending a muffin basket. And rumor has it that Lilo enjoys a good muffin.

It's all sooooo goddamn stupid that I can't talk about it anymore. Ok, ok. I can't talk about it anymore TODAY. The countdown will definitely continue here on Celebrity Gloryhole!

This is my favorite photo from yesterday!!!

Danny DeVito arrived at the Beverly Hills Courthouse yesterday morning and was instantly bombarded by paparazzi. He was repeatedly asked, “What is your relationship to Lindsay? Are you testifying today?” I don’t think Danny DeVito even knew Lilo’s bail hearing was going on that day! Does he even know who Lindsay Lohan is? In fact, I’m pretty sure Mr. DeVito had no idea what the hell was going on. He was simply appearing because he’d been called for jury duty.

That’s freakin' amazing! First, Danny DeVito is so famous he could’ve very easily gotten out of jury duty, but he chose to serve anyway. Second, Frank Reynolds on a jury? I love every image and scenario that puts in my head. I would gladly kill someone… or steal a few chachkis from Orlando Bloom’s house… you know, whatever I need to do… just to have Danny DeVito on my jury.

Uuummm... Well, I almost felt sorry for the crackwhore!

Then, I saw a close-up of her nails. What do you think? Photoshopped by the tabloids? Or is she really that damn stupid to go into court flashing fingernails that clearly read, "Fuck you!" Though, I can't lie... If this photo is real, it makes me respect her a little more.

Awww.... I almost feel sorry for the little crackwhore!

SCRAM, Lilo, SCRAM! (part deux)

Uh Oh, someone call Regina George! It looks like we have another entry for The Burn Book! Lindsay Lohan has been sentenced to 90 days in jail followed by 90 days to an in-patient rehabilitation center. I know, I know... I shouldn't be this fascinated by something this goddamn stupid, but I am! I somehow feel grounded by celebrities who are more of a hot mess than I. I only wish she would have been sentenced to community service. That way maybe... maybe, we, as the American public, could have finally gotten that long-awaited sequel to "Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen."

Wuh oh! Lilo in the arms of the law!!!

It's not looking good for Lilo today! She's been accused of violating her Alcohol Ed. Classes on 9 different occasions! Witnesses from The Right On Center referred to her as "disrespectful and filled with excuses." The Judge has refused to hear from Michael Lohan and has asked him to leave. I wonder how Danny DeVito's day of jury duty is going?

SCRAM, Lilo, SCRAM!

Oh, what a morning for everyone's favorite little crackwhore! Lindsay Lohan reported to the Beverly Hills Courthouse this morning to defend her "innocence." In case you've been living under a rock... or... well... really celebrating the absolute shit out of the 4th, Lilo has been accused of missing several of her court-ordered alcohol education classes, and her SCRAM bracelet alerted authorities to the presense of alcohol last month. She very well could go to jail TODAY!

Evidence has already been presented, and Lilo is currently in a conference room with her lawyer.

In related news, Danny DeVito showed up at the Beverly Hills Courthouse this morning to report for jury duty. He was very surprised to encounter approximately 80 photographers upon his arrival. Haha! And you just know he didn't show up looking or feeling his best this morning.