Oooh, it's going to be a classy, classy day; I can just feel it. It's Courtney Love's 46th birthday, for heroin's sake! This is the kind of day that makes one want to take 13 Oxycontins, shoot up, drink a bottle of 151, kill an overrated rock star and do a movie with Woody Harrelson. (I better get busy! I have a big day ahead of me.)
Seriously, you make my alcoholic binges look like a pre-schooler taking cough medicine. Hell, you eat pussies like Lindsay Lohan and Nicole Richie for breakfast! And for that, I respect you.
You were wonderful in "The People Vs. Larry Flynt," Oscar worthy wonderful, btw. I hope someday you will get the opportunity to take on the role of Janis Joplin. After all, what else is a big, hot mess like you supposed to do?
Happy Birthday, Courtney!!! I'm happy you're still alive... ok, more surprised than happy. Have a wonderfully blurry, stumbly day! And once again, thank you for not killing Edward Norton. America appreciates that.
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